I just want to say...

thank you to everyone who has called, emailed, commented, brought me food, etc. I am really thankful, I don't think any words can ever express it.

I am doing okay - about okay as a person can in this situation. I make seek a little bit of help - I am having trouble controlling my emotions. I talk to my Hongo as much as possible, but he isn't here during the day, and that seems to be the worst. I am no longer busy with funeral preparaations, so this whole thing is just sinking into me.

I promised I would write what LegoQueen wrote to my dad. Pardon us, it looks like broken English, she writes like she emigrated from Germany or Sweden, lol. At this point in time, I am glad she has a love of writing, grammer will come later.


Bless to God that you will be happy for your daughter for being your daughter. Be happy in Heaven. I hope that you will be happy for your family and grandkids. Signing, (she wrote their names) and your family Then she drew three small flowers at the bottom.


The next one:
We thank you for greeting us and your presents, from (she wrote her name) your granddaughter That one has a drawn picture of her and Dad under a tree.


Today she asked if her Papa (Hongo's dad) was going to die. I told her no - Papa is very healthy and he isn't going anywhere. Then she asked if HER dad was going to die. I told her no. Then I explained to her that Grandpa was very sick, he didn't eat his vegetables and he didn't exercise. He did not make good choices. She thought about it for a minute and asked if all dads died before moms did. I told her that there was no pattern, when it was your time to go, you went.


I talked to my MIL today. We talked about my dad, and how my family is being. Its still not over, I have to take care of some more stuff. She told me if I needed anything, she would help me.
I also talked to a friend today. For an hour. We sobbed on the phone for an hour. She has stuff going on, so do I, so we conmisserated.
After that I called the parent of the softbal team. Everyone one seems REALLY nice, except one guy who was a super asshole. I imagine that he has some kind of spandex suit under his clothes with a giant "SA" on the front. HE was such a griper. I can already tell he's going to be one of those parents who doesn't do shit, but complains that things don't go his way. Great.


I think that is all for tonight. I'm going to try a sleep aid, AGAIN. Hopefully it works - it didn't last night.