Making friends....

Hongo said I make friends too easily. Who me? Just because I spent 1/2 an hour on the phone chatting with a coach that I've never met in person, and I was giving him tips on how to get more girls on his team? Oh, and we've made arrangements to have a scrimmage this Thursday on his field?

Me? No way.

So now that I've spilled my friend making secrets (in case you missed it, it was BE FRIENDLY) the nasty, competitive catfight ME has reared its ugly head. The 3rd coach is a woman, she coached last year, she has an ego bigger than the state of California, and she happens to be buddy buddy with the league coordinator that was mentioned in either Fri or Sat's entry. The rumor is that HER team is THE team to beat.

Not if I have a say in it.....

Last year she tried to control all the games. My manager would always push her off on me because she was so intimidating to him. I would have to give my manager little pep talks before our games with her, lol. So this year, I strive to put together a team that is GREAT. LegoQueen was kind of mopey - she said "Its true, Mommy - their team is so good. They ARE the #1 team." So I said to her "Wait a sec - the season hasn't even started. WE are the team to beat - and don't you forget it. By saying THEY are, you've already given up. Wait and make them prove it."

Thems fightin words!

Fightin' words....words that echo in my mind. My dad always told me I was the best. I was the best pitcher, the best hitter, the best fielder. And I believed him. My dad's favorite thing to do before a game was to talk to me and tell me to "pump it up" That was his way of telling me to throw hard, hit hard, and take no prisoners. Softball then is nothing like softball now. Balls would graze your thighs and that was the pitcher telling you that you better back off the plate, or you were getting drilled. And this was when you were nine and ten years old! Now we play to have fun, and show sportsmanship is cool.
I do enjoy now softball - its much more civilized, lol.

So, Kim may have bitten off a little more than what she can chew, lol.

Speaking of my dad, tomorrow will mark 1 month. I still have weak moments, like this morning I was dreaming. I dreamt that I was sitting at a table with my dad and a couple of uncles. It was one of those banquet tables, and Dad was at the far end. He was asking why no one invited him to the funeral to see the family. I was flustered...trying to think of why no one told him to come. And then I looked at him, and I told him "But you WERE there. This was YOUR funeral." And he sat back in his chair, and he thought for a moment. He clenched his teeth, and said "But are you sure? Didn't someone take me to the hospital? Did they check for my pulse? Are you absolutly sure I was dead?" And I stretched out my hand, and he put out his. I began to tell him the chain of events as they had been relayed to me. I told him that he lay at the mortuary for a week. His brothers had come to see him and verify it was him.
And I was looking at his hand, and it was as if I could feel the roughness of his fingers.

And then I woke up.

After discussing the dream with Hongo, he has decided that I carry too much guilt and regret, hence the part of my dream where Dad asks if I made absolutly sure he was dead. Probably. And while I was doing the "Dad Memories" section of my journal, I came to the painful realization that there weren't very many good times to remember. I think that's what hurts the most. I loved being with him while he was sober....and sadly there weren't very many of those times.

SO after our discussion, Hongo suggested I work on that "red craft-knit-thing" in my basket. I reached over and pulled what I THOUGHT was my extra needle, and pulled all the stitches right out. ACK! I admit, I've dropped a couple here and there, and I just use the crochet hook to put them back. But this was 16 stitches, all pulled out and unsalvagable. I had to rip it out. :(

If I get some extra time, I will go and put new stiches on my needles and work my hardest to get it back to where it was so that I can bring it to the park. I want the knitting ladies to look at it, and tell me what row I should start knitting in stockinette in order to have the nice side show.