Mixed emotions....

Today I feel really up and down.

Hongo asked if we could have people over tomorrow, and I told him yes. So I set out to make sure the house was taken care of, and looked to see if there was anything needing attention.

The kids' rooms, of course!

So I was feeling really proud of Hongo - letting people in. He's always been about shutting people out, except for me.

Then I had T-Ball practice. I was set on doing something "different" with them to spice it up and make it more fun. I feel like I neglect them sometimes in favor of LegoQueens's team. We played games that worked on our throwing and catching skills. At the end of the practice the kids were all smiles and happy. I asked them if they had fun and it was a unanimous "YEAH!"

After that we had dinner and went to the field for LQ's game. She had been practicing all afternoon to pitch, but i told her it was unlikely, because my other pitcher was going to do it. After watching both girls warm up, the one I was going to use asked me to put Courtney in. She just wasnt' "feeling it" and she needed more time.

Keep this in mind....LQ and the other girl (both coach's daughters) were there 30 minutes before everyone else. They warmed up together and by the time everyone else arrived, they were ready to rest. There is a girl that has been literally begging to pitch (she will be referred to as "K") and the minute she got there, she said "Coach, am I pitching today?"
Now don't get me wrong - the thought did cross my mind today. Maybe I will let her because the chances of us winning today were slim. They slaughtered us last time we played. But i was feeling lucky, and I told her "no - not today" This child asks me several times a game, and her buddy (the lazy catcher) bugs me about it too.
So I told her no, and she cried. And I didn't care. I am seriously sick of her bugging me. She didnt' start crying in front of me, I saw her as we were getting ready to take the field.
So she figured she would be defiant and not listen to my coaches when they were trying to position her. She was not scoring points with me. So the next inning, I sat her out. Her friend tried to bug me about the pitching again, and I told her "It shouldn't concern you - worry about yourself."
By the end of the game, the girl had asked me 3 times, her brother asked, and her friend asked. The final straw came at the team meeting. She raised her hand and said "Coach, am I going to pitch next game?" I looked around and I looked right at her and said, " You know K, with my own kids - if they keep asking for something and won't stop - they don't get it. PLEASE stop asking me."

And it was really quiet, until one of the girls raised her hand, and we moved on.

What is the harm is letting her pitch? Well, because she CAN'T pitch her way out of a paper bag. She is horrible. My girls don't seem to be very supportive of the pitcher if she's walking the batters around. I've talked to them several times, and it doesn't work. They get frustrated, and then they get mean. Except for maybe 2-3 girls. The rest of them attack. "Come on! Pitch the ball! What is wrong with you?! Throw a strike!" There is also self-esteem damage when I have to call time out and take the ball away and give it to another player. I've had to do it twice, and it nearly broke my heart both times. Once it was to LQ, and the second time it was to my regular pitcher.

I fully intend on having K pitch, I really do. But when she bugs me like she does, it makes me not want to let her because I tell her to knock it off and she doesn't. I'm all about not giving in and letting kids have their way. EVEN my OWN kids. Hairy Boy begs, whines and throws fits to be 1st base every game, and to bat first. HB can't catch the other kids' throws, and there are other kids who want to play there. So obviously he doesn't get his way. He even sits on the bench. I think I've let him play 2 innings at that position. DQ is happy to play anywhere, but she has asked a couple of times for certain spots.

I try very hard to not play favorites with LQ. I stick her in the outfield, and I sit her on the bench. She pitched FANTASTIC tonight - 3 innings and she gave up 4 runs. I was going to sit her in the 4th, but Hongo stuck her at shortstop. She was rewarded for a job well done. Today she earned her first game ball. Its taken all season for her to earn it. She is also the one who gets yelled at and the pressure put on her. The other girls have it gooooood...It was a VERY close game until the end when I took LQ out. I should have left her in.

SO I guess I have been feeling a little defensive tonight. I am tired of the whiners and the criers, but loving the girls who will try anything and play anywhere, even if it is sitting on the bench so that another girl can get in the game.... I am seriously considering putting "M" to start on Wednesday because she didnt' give me crap today about pitching. SHe wanted to, but after she saw how the game was going she was happy to be in the field. She even cheerfully sat one inning so that LQ didn't have to.

Its tough - I wish I had another coach to vent to. Hongo and my other coach are hard core and just say "oh well - we have a job to do." Hongo tells me not to worry about being liked by everyone on the team.